Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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