I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm always down for nudity.
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