Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
