The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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