I don't usually arrange sex via text message
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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