On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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