Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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