It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
