I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize