You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
