what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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