we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
