how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
