the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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