dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
should my penis look like a turkey
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
