I think i sorta joined a cult last night
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize