....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
