Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
