Having a random hookup so left but love u
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
