...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
