so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
even my farts smell like vagina
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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