I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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