Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your penis caused this!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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