dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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