Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
