dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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