Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
