I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
