You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
did i walk over a car last night?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
