How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
