Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
