at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
