im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You ate ashes out of my bong
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
