he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
