Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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