It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
