Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
