i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
