I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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