The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
