...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
