Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize