oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize