The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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