I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
