You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
