John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
