He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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