I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Bring me that man meat
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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