I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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