OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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