I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
This is classic penis vs brain.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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