Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
