ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
