Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
4 words: hood of his car
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Randomize
