Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
