You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
How external is "for external use only"?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
