Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We're too hungover to prance.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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