My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
