we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
