i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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