OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize