I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
