32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
