My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
