Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
