Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
