What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
