apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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