When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
