We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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