sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
