Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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