i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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