Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
