I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
