i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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