I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My liver just broke up with me...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
