so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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