Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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