just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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