my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
