If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
