He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
