wat bout pragnant strippers??
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize