the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
